On Turning Thirty, The Story of Hermione Granger,
by Titania Malfoy Snape
Summary: Rating for later chapters.....Old people. Old wizards. They are the ones who are supposed to die. Not the children. Molly Weasley would be the first to tell you that. She lost Ginny and Charlie. She nearly lost Arthur. I can’t imagine it, and I don
1. Default Chapter

**On Turning Thirty**

**The Story of Hermione Granger..Spinster**

**Chapter One**

Lord, I hate the morning! Especially this morning as it is my birthday today.

The big 3-0. Gods, where has the time gone?

I suppose that I will have to get up soon, as I am sure that Harry and Ron will be pounding on my door any time now, shouting at me to get up and stop lying about. Ronald has probably fixed a huge breakfast in my honor and afterwards Harry will drag me to Diagon Alley for a day of pampering.

All of this designed to keep me out of the flat so that Ron can get it ready for the surprise party they are throwing me.

Really, those two! As if I wouldn't guess…I mean I was the first to guess, and quite rightly that they were, well, gay. To this day I pat myself on the back for my brilliant bit of matchmaking. But I digress.

I am thirty today. Oh. Joy. Woopee!

I really don't want to get out of bed. What's so great about turning thirty? I have no life, I live with Harry and Ron, and I work for The Ministry. I visit Mum and Dad nearly every weekend and try to ignore Aunt Mini's attempts to fix me up with "a nice young man who is so suited" for me. Oh bother! I suppose that Aunt Mini and my parents are invited tonight as well. Please, oh please don't let Aunt Mini drag another "date" along.

I don't think that I will be able to maintain my civility.

Well, it hasn't been that bad, really, my life I mean. Harry killed off Voldemort exactly six months to the day we were graduated from Hogwarts. I will be the first to admit that the war has changed my life in ways that my eighteen year old self couldn't have imagined. Death tends to do that to people anyway. Especially when it's your peers who die and not old people, like it's supposed to be.

Old people. Old wizards. They are the ones who are supposed to die. Not the children. Molly Weasley would be the first to tell you that. She lost Ginny and Charlie. She nearly lost Arthur. I can't imagine it, and I don't know how she manages to go on.

The more I think about it, it was all so senseless. Voldemort was a psychotic to be sure, and his disease touched and changed the lives of so many! The logical, analytical side of my mind can understand the theory behind it, the physiology of it all. The course of the sickness and all, but the other side of me cannot grasp it.

I mean how could a soul be that twisted?

I had managed to go on up until then, convinced that the human condition couldn't get any worse than a megalomaniac sociopath wizard.

I was at home with my parents for a long visit on September 11, and I remember watching in horror as the Twin Towers collapsed. Being Muggleborn I have working knowledge of both the magical and non-magical worlds, yet as the source of the monstrosity was proclaimed, I found myself again wondering at the depths of hate the human soul could achieve. I found myself wondering how those who survived could go on, the widows and widowers, the people who escaped. I knew that there would be survivor's guilt. I had and still do experience it myself. Yet, something drew me to the scene of the disaster. I spent an entire six months there, at the site, volunteering in the clean up effort. I had to go, it was as if I was compelled in some sort of way. My parents were horrified at the prospect of my endangering myself, yet they too understood my need to go. Harry looked at me with the saddest eyes, but he didn't say anything. I knew that he understood. Ron, bless his heart, tried to understand. He told me to owl him for whatever I might need.

I apparated straight to the site, and no one noticed.

I thought I was prepared. I had fought in a war after all. Yet this was so different. I could hear the cries of the dying, still. Their spirits still trapped in the rubble, wandering, wondering and lost. The whole site smelled of death and the familiarity of that smell was what kept me going.

I learned a lot about myself in that time, about life. The most important lesson was that no matter whether or not we possess magical abilities, Witch, Wizard or Muggle—we are all still human. We all still share the same emotions, desire and faults and goodness is not inherent…evil is.

I learned that I couldn't escape my humanity, just like Voldemort couldn't escape his. Just like Mussolini couldn't escape it, not Hitler, or Bin Laden. Whichever world I choose to live in, there would be evil and there would be good. There would be hate and there would be love. Babies would be born, some would die, and some would live. There would be abuses, there would be love. We would eventually grow old and die. There was no escape from it.

In the end the only person I was responsible for was myself. The only person I had to please was myself and I couldn't control the feelings or actions of others. Good may triumph over evil, but at a great cost to the innocent. Perhaps too great a cost.

So here I sit, in my bed in a rather nice flat on my thirtieth birthday. Alone. Unmarried and not quite content. Waiting for Ron's pounding on my door. Ready to put on the happy face that they, everyone expects.

It is a mask really.

I hate my life.

I hate this world.

Oh and there is Ronald, not pounding actually but knocking politely on my door. Maybe I should ignore him, just burrow under my comforter and hide in the darkness. But no..in he comes.

There is something quite nice about being best friends with a couple of poufs. I feel quite pampered actually after my day with Harry (I was right, Diagon Alley). Madam Malkin was smiling when we left and my wardrobe is fuller by three gowns, two capes and various gloves, stockings and shoes. I was a bit wary of Harry spending so much on me, and told him as much, but he waived it off as he led me into Le Boucherie for a killer lunch.

I have no idea how much money he spent on me, and I felt quite decadent as I was getting my massage. Hot stones are a miracle in and of themselves.

I, of course, pretended to be surprised, when I walked through the door to the flat to a room full of friends all yelling Happy Birthday. I playfully slapped Harry and shoved Ron before I hugged them and kissed their cheeks.

Everyone was there. Mum and dad. Aunt Mini with young man in tow. Albus and Minerva, Remus and Tonks and surprise surprise….Severus Snape.

Whatever possessed him to show is beyond me. I mean really. Why? He hates me. Bastard wouldn't even write me a recommendation to my university. Not that it mattered, but still. I was his best student.

Yet there he was, standing with, yet apart from the rest of the group. He didn't smile or anything weird like that, but he was shouting "surprise" with the rest of them.

Well, maybe not shouting, but he did say it. I mean..I was watching him. Who wouldn't? His presence was enough to make you watch him. Severus Snape at a birthday party?

A birthday party thrown by Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley.

The poor man stood out like a Hippogriff in a china shop.

It's been nearly ten years since I laid eyes on him and he hasn't changed a jot. He still wears black from head to foot, buttons everywhere! He reminds me of a Victorian gentleman.

He still sneers, his hair is still lanky, his complexion still is sallow—I found myself biting my tongue in suggestion a membership to a tanning parlor while he was conversing with me.

Yes, Severus Snape, resident bastard of Hogwarts, Potions master par excellence, former Death Eater, bane of Gryffindor's the world over actually held a conversation with me. A conversation free of snarkiness. An intelligent conversation. About my life and how it was going.

He asked me if I were doing well after my trip to New York! Who told him? Surely not the boys? Perhaps Albus? He knew about the trip though my parents, I think. Hell Albus knows everything, so why am I even speculating?

I am slightly tipsy and so I digress.

It's two in the morning and the last of the guests left about a half hour ago. I am so tired and my head feels like it shall float off of my neck at any moment now.

I should have never drunk that punch Fred brought.

I don't think that I danced on a table or anything…but I am fairly sure that when I read over this tomorrow I will not recognize this entry at all.

Severus Snape was at my party!!

Oh dear! Am quite queasy and in need of a cigarette.

Bad habit I picked up in New York. It was either smoke or go raving. Where are my cigs?

Ahhhhh…… nothing like the satisfaction of nicotine fix. Especially when snookered. Damn Fred Weasley.

Where was I?

Oh, yes. Severus Snape was actually at my party.

He didn't look happy about it, but I doubt the man has ever really smiled anyway.

Why was he here?

I haven't seen him in about five years anyway and only then it was because he guest lectured at Uni. He took me to the obligatory dinner after Professor Baltizar re-introduced us (as if we needed it!).

I got the occasional response to letters I wrote inquiring after his health and what not. He was even helpful with a project or two. Other than that I see him only at the parties celebrating the anniversary of Voldemort's defeat.

I hate Ministry functions by the way.

Yet, he was here, in my very living room tonight. He drank with us, participated in the toast to my thirtieth year and he brought me a present. A nice present actually.

It's in the place of honor on my bookcase. A complete collection of Jane Austen. Leather bound and personalized for me.

Wow.

I was speechless then, and I am still. I mean, Severus Snape knowing about Jane Austen, much less actually going into Muggle London and buying me the collection?

Oh…owl tapping at window.

Oh HOLY SHIT!

No.

It's a prank surely?

It's simply not possible.

He's soooo anti social!


	2. Chapter Two

**On Turning Thirty**

**The Story of Hermione Granger…Spinster**

**Chapter Two**

No, I wasn't hallucinating last night or rather earlier this morning.

Severus Snape did write me a letter asking me out for dinner tonight and I did respond with a yes, for here on the kitchen table is another note from him saying that he will be here tonight at seven-thirty.

Harry and Ron happened to be in the kitchen when I read the note and groaned. I was stupid enough to tell them the contents. Ronald turned a rather interesting shade of green and sputtered at me that it isn't polite to joke with a hung-over Weasley.

He made a fast dash to the loo when I calmly told him that I wasn't joking. I don't think that he was running for the Hang Over Cure, considering he returned a few minutes later looking pale and wan.

Was forced to listen to lecture from Harry about the impracticality of having dinner with our former evil Potions professor, with Ron chiming in with sage words of wisdom at times.

"He hates us Hermione!" Ron wined. "He will probably try to poison your dinner or something!"

"Oh Ron," I chided. "After all this time you are still ranting on about this?"

"Well, maybe not poison you," Harry added. "But Hermione, why did you accept?"

I was drunk. That's what I told them anyway.

As the pair raved on and on, I got angrier and angrier. I mean yes, Severus Snape is a, or I should say, was a bastard in school. He was cruel, prejudicial toward his house and just plain mean. But he did save our collective hides on more than one occasion, especially in our third year when he jumped in front of Remus when he was in werewolf form. I was scared as it was I can only imagine how Severus must have felt. I remember feeling him tremble, just slightly mind you, but tremble none the less as he pressed his body against ours, hands spread wide. He was like a dark wall between us and the beast.

All of this after being hexed by us, too!

Soooo, I let the boys have an earful about the above and stomped from the room. The flat has been silent ever since, which is a good thing. Hang Over Relief is a good thing, but the quiet is nicer, the both of them together make for a great afternoon.

It's almost time to start getting ready. The note from Severus said to 'dress' for dinner. So the question is, where is he taking me and how 'dressed' should I get?

I have the little black number, and it is little. Maybe too little actually and I don't want Severus getting any ideas. Then there's my other black dress, the one with the longer skirt and a bit more neckline. Not too prim but not too sexy. Clingy in all the right places yet not so tight that he would guess that I don't wear knickers. Three quarter length sleeves (which are so flattering on me-to quote Aunt Mini) and made of satin. And it's his favorite color too!

Wait! Why do I care that it's his favorite color anyway?

Puzzling really, I have to admit that I am sort of looking forward to tonight. I mean, I was going to owl him and cancel but in the aftermath of Ron and Harry's stupidity this afternoon I decided that I wasn't going to cancel. I would go, just to show them, I thought. But now I'm sort of excited.

I don't think that he has changed all that much, but then I don't think that anyone really knows Professor Snape, except for maybe Albus. Maybe he is different when he's alone.

I suppose that I will find out tonight. I have to get ready now.

It's nearly seven-thirty. I am nearly breathless with nerves. Harry and Ron aren't being at all helpful by sitting on the sofa across from me and glaring over my shoulder at the front door.

At least Harry complimented me on my looks tonight, although Ron ruined it by saying that he thought I was barmy for getting dressed up for a "date with the git". Molly really should have spanked him more as a child.

And there's the knock. I suppose it would be too much to ask that Ron keep his yap closed, but at least Harry is going to answer the door!

Boy oh boy oh boy.

Severus Snape in Muggle clothes. Severus Snape out in public. Severus Snape in a Muggle restaurant, one he's been to before. Severus Snape a conversationalist. I think he almost smiled at one point this evening. That being when Harry opened the door and I stood up to welcome him, I was smiling and he nearly did after he raked his eyes over my form. Gave me the shivers it did, those beetle black eyes raking me over.

We apparated right to the restaurant, Le Bistro by the way. (Swanky! I am so glad I picked the not so little black dress!) Where he had reservations for us for dinner, reservations for the kitchen table no less! It seems that the head chef (Marcus) is a Squib, who knows Severus from when he lived in Hoggsmeade.

Dinner was customized for us, for as Marcus said, "It is the first time that Severus has ever requested the kitchen table for him and a lady friend."

Perhaps it was the heat of the kitchen, but maybe not, that caused a flush to creep up on his cheeks. Severus cleared his throat at Marcus' words and the chef flashed me a cheeky grin. It was all I could do to not laugh. I didn't want Severus to think I was laughing at him.

So, dinner. I am still quite full. It was wonderful! A lovely salad of Radicchio and Endive with this lovely dressing of lime vinaigrette. Followed by a lovely squab stuffed with almonds and rice pilaf with steamed veggies. The wine was perfect. A nice merlot with this lovely figgy aftertaste. Crème Brule for dessert, which was topped with sliced strawberries. Heavenly meal and I left quite full.

The best part of the meal was the conversation. The kitchen wasn't too loud for all the hustle and bustle, and the time between courses was enough for us to talk seeing as the meal was too good to linger over.

I actually broke the ice, because I think that he was still embarrassed by Marcus' remarks about his lady friend, by asking him how things were at Hogwarts.

He gave the standard answer about dunderheads and the pity he holds for the wizarding world's future if one were to judge by the present crop of first years. This time I did laugh and I thought I saw his eyes twinkle a bit when he met mine.

After that we talked about Potions, articles in Ars Alchema that had caught our interest, my work at the MOM, which he empathized me with. He told me that he thought that my mind was being wasted there and I blushed like a third year.

He's actually thinking about leaving Hogwarts and starting a pharmaceutical company of sorts, producing standard medicinal potions and doing research into untried areas. Sounded fascinating and I told him so. He was about to respond when we were interrupted by the main course and the subject dropped. I couldn't ask him what he was about to say although I wanted too, but I thought it would be rude.

After dinner we walked a bit and ended up at a coffee house where, Severus said, it was open mic night.

Yes, really.

Smokey atmosphere, smell of coffee all around, people young and old scattered about at tables or lounging on sofas, all sipping from large mugs and a young woman on the stage reciting The Phoenix and The Turtle, by Shakespeare.

The rest of the evening was spent debating Shakespeare's meaning behind the sonnet over steaming cups of coffee.

I feel like letting out a satisfied sigh and I think that I shall. There.

We ended up leaving at around one a.m. apparating right back to the alley next to my building. He was quiet as he walked me up the stairs, and paused on the landing below my door, saying that he had no doubt that my roomies were probably waiting on the other side of my door with their ears pressed against it. I laughed and he nearly smiled again. His lips did quirk upward on one side and his eyes twinkled-sort of.

Then he did something that surprised me. He kissed my hand, like men used to do way back when, and told me that he had a nice time and could we do it again soon?

Of course I said yes.

Well to be honest, I blushed and smiled and said that I'd love to.

Then I stuck my foot in it. I told him that I had thought that the evening would be tense and awful and that I hadn't really known what to expect but that things had been wonderful and surprising.

His face went blank for a moment then he told me that he had always thought that I was the fairest out of all of my friends. Then he bowed, kissed my hand again and was gone.

I hope I didn't piss him off. I didn't mean too. I really want to go out with him again.

Harry and Ron were waiting up, but their ears weren't pressed against the door. They were however lounging in a rather funny way on the sofa. Really, they can be such children!

I ignored them and went straight to my room. Let them stew!

I am going to bed.

I really do hope that I didn't ruin it by what I said. I'd like to go out with him again.


	3. Chapter Three

**On Turning Thirty…**

**The Story of Hermione Granger…Spinster**

**Chapter Three**

Percy Weasley is going to get his privates hexed off one day. The pervert.

Dragged myself to work this morning (I really hate my job) determined to have a good day and be productive. The morning passed nice and quick and I didn't think of Severus more than three times…an hour.

But really it's been a week and I haven't heard word one from him! What's that all about anyway? I am sure now that he didn't take what I said as an insult, upon thought on the matter I am now sure that he would have at least insulted me, not bowed and wished me a good night.

Not one word.

Then lunch time rolled round and Percy Weasley strode into my office without so much as a knock on my door asking me to lunch.

So he's my supervisor in an indirect sort of manner and I suppose that he thinks that he can just enter one's work space without so much as a by your leave. I set him to rights about the lack of knocking and told him that I was eating at my desk today.

Now, if I had been the barger-iner, and had been told off by the person I had barged in on and then I had been stupid enough to ask said person to lunch only to be told that they were eating in, would I be stupid enough to not take the underlying hint about eating in as a 'no'?

Well, for one thing I would never barge in, my Mum raised me better than that, so has Molly in fact, but I certainly would have got the "I'm eating at my desk today' part as a 'no'.

Percy Weasley didn't. Or at least he pretended he didn't. No he just sat down in one of my chairs and looked at me expectantly. I met his eyes, arched my brow a la Snape and threw him the smile that I reserve for ferrets like Malfoy. He decided to keep playing dense and then proceeded to rake my form, what could be seen of it as I was now standing behind my desk, with his eyes. Then he smirked.

Now, Percy Weasley is not Severus Snape. Obviously. Weasley's gaze left me feeling giddy with nausea as opposed to giddy with something else entirely. Then the little worm asks me to dinner and has the nerve to get all upset when I tell him no.

He stood up and made his way behind my desk where he proceeded to try to kiss me, muttering something about Snape and what was so special about him.

That bastard!

I didn't hex him, no I shoved him away and ordered him out of my office telling him that if he set so much as one toe across the threshold again with out knocking and with out a chaperone, I would tell Molly about his behavior.

I have never seen anyone move that quickly.

Then to top it all off, just as I was leaving for the day, mentally preparing to go home and slap Ronald for telling Percy of all people about my date, I got a note that my office was being moved. Yep moved. To the next level…below. It seems that I am to take up new office residence in Arthur's old digs. Seems Percy's feelings got hurt.

Fat chance of that once I pay a visit to Susan Bones Monday. She's the executive assistant of sorts to the Minister who happens to be her aunt. I love Hufflepuff loyalty and all the time I spent in my seventh year helping her in Potions will pay off beautifully.

It's a good thing for Ron's sake that he's not home yet as I have had time to calm down and have a couple glasses of wine. I intend on getting pissed tonight as it is a Friday after all and I can afford a lie about tomorrow.

Oh…there's a tapping at the window.

Merlin on a bicycle! Severus wants to know if we could maybe go eat tonight? Owl is waiting for my reply. Hummmm what should I say?

Dur…

Wrote Severus back and sent owl and reply through the Floo. It's faster and hopefully Severus will take the hint that he does not have to send owls.

Now I must decide what to wear and stop skipping about the flat.

Note said nothing about 'dressing' for dinner and I am sure that what with Severus being a teacher he isn't rolling in it so it would be unfair to expect Le Bistro type dinners all the time. No. I think that a pair of slacks and a silky tank will do nicely. In fact I do have that new twin set I can wear!

Waiting patiently for seven to arrive, fire roaring in fireplace as night is chilly, love the way the firelight shines up the silk of my cardigan. Boys aren't back yet so perhaps I should invite Severus in for a drink?

I think that he would like that and I know that I look rather fetching in my brand new jeans and silk twin set. The shoes aren't bad either, I love the whole pointy toe look and kitten heels are so smart looking!

I read somewhere that men liked the mincing steps that heels force a woman to make so that she doesn't fall on her face and embarrass herself. I also read that another reason high heels are liked by men is the fact that they force the pelvis outward and make the legs look longer.

Well, that may be all true, but I refuse to force my pelvis out in public like that, especially on a second date and if the man I'm with doesn't like my legs they way they are well too bad for him. No a nice one and a half inch heel is the most I will do thanks very much and the man will just have to be satisfied with the mincing.

Ohh knock knock! He's here!

Am currently in bedroom fixing mascara. Hair is drying nicely and without poofiness thanks to miracle of a hairdresser I have and the nice cut he gives me. Severus is currently out in living room sipping a glass of brandy under the watchful eyes of Harry and Ron.

It poured buckets on the concert ruining a perfectly lovely dinner! Kebabs and a lovely wine all under the stars and with background music by Josh Groban. Glad I wore the jeans, but the kitten heel shoes are a loss as one of the pair is sunk deep in a mud puddle somewhere in town.

Giggled madly as I ran, pulled along by Severus, through the park in the poring rain until we could get to an apparition point and from there the alley and up the stairs to my flat.

I must have looked a sight, I know that Severus did. Delicious but wet in his dark jeans and black poorboy.

He was laughing too! A rich baritone laugh that rumbles like thunder. My knees are still weak! So of course I invited him in and was surprised at his acceptance. Hence the brandy, the fire and the boys.

Who looked very strangely at me when I told Severus to make himself comfortable while I tidied up and ordered them to behave themselves. I have to get back out there now, I'm sure that Severus can take care of himself I just don't want the boys to do anything to ruin a lovely evening!

I kissed Severus Snape!

OhmyGod OhmyGod! I actually kissed Severus Snape and am now completely giddy and can't sleep!

It was so… indescribable!

Ron and Harry weren't in the living room when I got back, Severus said something that sounded vaguely like "works everytime," and smirked at me.

No, his smirk is not even remotely close to Pervert Percy's smirk. Severus' is much sexier, unless it's his 'I've caught you out after curfew' smirk which is scary.

No the 'I'm a sexy Potions master' smirk is so very opposite the smirk I remember from Hogwarts!

Thankful that the firelight concealed my blush and noting that the fire light was the only light in the room, I sat down next to Severus on the sofa and asked him what had happened to the boys.

"Nothing bad, I assure you Hermione," he answered. "I merely reminded them they had better things to do other than sit chaperone to you. I think that you will find them down the street at the pub for a little while. Have a brandy."

Fingers brushed fingers as I took the glass from him, shivers ran rampant up and down my spine! Poor Severus thought I was cold and suggested that we move to the floor in front of the fire.

Heh heh.

The man looks good in firelight I must say. His pale skin looks warmer, his eyes darker and he looks way less imposing. I found myself at a complete loss for words for once and the silence was broken only by the sound of the crackling of burning wood.

After a time, he looked at me and said how sorry he was that the evening had been ruined by the rain. I protested that the evening had not been ruined at all, just the concert, and that I was quite content to sit by the fire listening to the rain fall outside. He asked about my week at work, I avoided telling him about Percy but settled on the standard answer of "typically boring, thanks." Then responded with same question to him.

It seems that Neville Longbottom is now considered near genius by Severus when he compares him with his present students. Poor Severus.

Next hour or so spent talking about Muggle literature as it compares to Wizard literature, Muggles winning that argument of course. I expressed some surprise regarding his choice of concert and he told me that he found some Muggle music quite pleasing, especially these days.

Well the Weird Sisters have gotten even weirder anyway.

Then there was this silence, as if we had run out of things to say. Then Severus quite suddenly complimented me on the shoes I had worn (see?) and then leaned in to kiss me.

It was so tentative at first, on both our parts. One of those light brushing kisses that you get and give on the first go. His lips are surprisingly soft for all of the hard look of them and I found myself kissing him again after a small, awkward pause.

Delicious! Oh the way his tongue felt in my mouth, swirling with mine and his arms around me so strong and hard. Hands stroking my back softly but firmly. He kisses like a man should kiss, strong and demanding but just so!

I soon found myself on his lap, arms wrapped about his neck, breathless as a schoolgirl and as horny as all Hell!

Then he stopped. Damn!

Stopped and took a deep breath and said tat he needed to leave before we went somewhere we weren't quite ready to go.

What's with this 'we' stuff. I was quite ready to go thank you very much, but he was determined in spite of the inviting smile that I flashed him. I reluctantly got off of his lap and walked him to the door, where he kissed me goodnight and left.

Am feeling quite lightheaded and I don't think that it's all because of the brandy.


End file.
